Today I sat down at my computer with the intention of writing a blog post on the farce that is the latest round of Israeli-Palestinian peace negotiations. But as I started browsing the latest news coverage on the conflict, I came across a photo so disturbing that I felt compelled to change the topic of this week's post.
Please, can somebody explain to me what the hell is going on with Hilary Clinton's tangerine pantsuit?
I know Hillary Clinton has long been a fan of the vibrantly hued pantsuit (see below). Like a male peacock during mating season, this helps her command the attention of those around her long enough for her to try to screw them. But this pumpkin-inspired monstrosity seems obscene even by Hillary's standards.
Regardless of your personal disposition towards Hillary, few would debate that she is a highly intelligent woman. Surely, this wardrobe choice must be a shrewd, deliberate political tactic? I have several theories:
1. It is a ploy to stun and confuse Abbas and Netanyahu just long enough that they might agree on something. Seasoned political junkies among you might discern a look of acute unease mixed into Abbas' standard grimace in the photo of him and Clinton above. I reckon it is from the glare of her outfit.
2. The madness inevitably inflicted by involvement in Middle Eastern politics is making Hillary resort to Gaddafi-inspired political tactics. First, check out this photo of Gaddafi with Silvio Berlusconi. Gaddafi has consistently proved that dressing like a lunatic can magically transform even the sleaziest political dirtbags in one's vicinity into appearing respectable and statesmanlike in comparison. Over the past few decades, this has been proved beyond a doubt by countless photo-ops of Gaddafi with a wide assortment of dodgy Arab and African dictators. Clinton's wardrobe choice could be a sneaky plot to help the rather mediocre figures of Abbas and Netanyahu achieve the stature they need to push through a peace agreement. If it works, the best hope for achieving world peace might well be supporting Lady GaGa for US President in 2012.
3. This is further evidence proving the theory propounded by Dinesh D'Souza in Forbes' a few weeks back, which claims that Obama's politics are motivated by an anti-colonial ideology inspired by his Kenyan father. Hillary might be trying to curry favour with her boss by taking style cues from African political elites (see photo below). Admittedly, this is the most tenuous of the three theories and needs more supporting evidence. Will keep eyes peeled for sightings of Hillary sporting extravagant head ornamentation.
Left to right: Chantal Biya (First Lady of Cameroon); Touré Lobbo Traoré (First Lady of Mali); Hillary Clinton
Seriously though, analyzing Hillary's fashion sense is a comforting escape from the depressing prospect of thinking/writing about the peace negotiations. Actually, there isn't a single thing I could write about the negotiations which has not been written a million times already. Bourgeois pseudo-intellectuals (myself included) analyze and pontificate on blogs, in newspapers and on TV. Peace talks come and go. Meanwhile, people in the Gaza Strip continue to languish in the world's largest open air prison and illegal Israeli settlements are being expanded in the West Bank.
Now back to the real issue. Thank God Michelle Obama ended up as the female resident of the White House. Imagine being subjected to Hillary's fashion sense every time you turn on the news.
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