Untamed Shrew

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5 Reasons being a woman sucks.

Apparently, I was exposed to high levels of testosterone in the womb. This could be why I often find myself thinking I would rather be a man.

When I say this in public, people seem surprised and sometimes even offended. But being a woman really is quite rubbish. Here are just a few reasons why:

1.       It is unacceptable to have hair anywhere on your face besides your eyebrows. This takes work.

2.       PMS. And not just before your period. Most of the women I know seem to have PMS all the time.

3.       You can't win with breasts. If they're big, you get back problems. If they're small, you feel inadequate.

4.       Spending half an hour each morning sorting out your hair, make-up and outfit. According to my half-arsed calculations, this adds up to over 10,000 hours over the average woman's lifetime. By comparison, it takes 70 hours to get a private pilot's license. And about 1,700 hours of classes to get a Bachelor's degree. So in the time spent covering up zits and trying out different shoes with my outfit, I could have become a rocket scientist, a doctor and probably even travelled the globe on a donkey.

5.       The irrepressible urge to constantly complain. For example, this blog.

This video sums up my feelings perfectly:

Pop Culture Madness: Jordanian Elections Edition

Sometimes the most unlikely things make my day.

Today it was spotting this poster of Nuha Miqdadi, a Jordanian parliamentary candidate whose face is plastered all over Zarqa. Could anything be more symbolic of Jordan's identity crisis?

Is Nuha Miqdadi a conservative Muslim woman in a black hijab? A babe in red lipstick with a 'come hither' glance? A nationalistic Jordanian in a red keffiyeh? And most importantly, why is the keffiyeh wrapped around her head like a turban?

The optimistic among you might argue that Nuha can be all of these things at once. But can you honestly tell me that this doesn't look like a recipe for disaster?

Horny Saudi seeks 'bint el-halal' … but not really.

Any woman can tell you that receiving creepy messages from sleazy randoms on Facebook is nothing out of the ordinary. But last night, my friend SK received a message which really is just special. I couldn't help but post it.

(Apologies to English-speaking readers, but translating this would just kill it.)

مرحبا

أنا أحمد من السعودية أعيش حالياً في كندا وبالتحديد في تورنتو لأجل اكمال دراستي الجامعية، عمري 25 سنة.

أنا صراحة ابحث عن فتاة عربية مسلمة نتطبق عليها شروط الزواج العرفي وترغب في الزواج مني ... فأنا هنا في الغربه ومثلك يعرف الجو والتأثر فأنا ارغب بالإبتعاد عن الحرام وعدم الوقوع فيه فاتمنى الحصول على امراءه تقبل الارتباط معي بعقد متعة. وأنا اوعدها ان اني لا ابخل عليها بشيء وان تعيش معي حياة رائعة. وأن كانت ترغب في القدوم الى كندا فأنا مستعد اساعدها في ذلك. فإذا كنتي تقبلين فأنا سوف اكون سعيد واوعد بأنكي لم تندمي ابداً

انا في انتظار جواب
احمد

Wow. Who could possibly resist such an enticing offer?

PS. Check out this fantastic Facebook group I found! It's so brilliant, why does it only have 5 members?!